Cement barriers may be all that is needed to block access to the World War 2 Memorial on the National Mall, but preventing the public from enjoying the Grand Canyon is a monumental challenge.
However, it appears the government has come up with a solution.
President Obama announced today that work would begin immediately to fill the canyon with rocks and gravel.
“It’s going to be the largest public works project in the history of the human race,” the president said.
“The Army Corp of Engineers estimates it will take about 7 million years, or about as long as it took for the canyon to form.….and as long as we expect the Tea Party to continue with its stubborn strategy of denying funding to the government.”
“But there is a silver lining to all of this,” he added. “The project will completely eliminate unemployment, not only in the United States, but in the world. It will also solve the problem of immigration reform since we will need every able-bodied person alive today – and countless future generations – from all four corners of the earth, not to mention still unknown alien civilizations from distant star systems.”
Senator Ted Cruz angrily rebutted the president’s plan: “As usual, as with any of his promises, the president is overstating the benefits. The project will not take longer than three thousand years, which is how long it took the canyon to form after Noah’s flood. In that timeframe, we should be able to rely solely on American labor.”
However, all parties agree we will not see the Bullet Train completed before either estimated duration.