Special science edition of Villagetovillageblog.com
Inspired by a recent report that spray-painting asteroids could eliminate potentially deadly cosmic threats to the earth similar to the recent incident in Russia, Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa announced that part of the proposed half-cent sales tax increase under Measure A would fund a mission to graffiti every known asteroid on a possible collision course with earth.
“This is the legacy I want to leave behind,” he said in a press conference from the International Space Station.
“Just think – every time people gaze at the heavens to observe shooting stars, they will think of me,” he continued.
A very profound statement, indeed. Many people believe the mayor has the potential to cause more destruction than the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs.
Here’s how Villaraigosa’s plan would work:
The sales tax increase would be diverted to a gang prevention program, consistent with the objectives of improved public safety Measure A supporters claim will occur if the voters approve it. Therefore, there would be a legal basis for the program.
Only the best and most prolific graffiti vandals will be chosen in a rigorous selection process rivaling the one NASA uses for its astronauts.
“We will set the bar high for applicants. We may even recruit from the campuses that come under my Partnership for Los Angeles Schools,” the mayor claimed.
Only visionaries in the same league as Villaraigosa could combine two high priority objectives – public safety and education – in a bold, groundbreaking initiative. You might say it is one small step for city and one giant step for Villaraigosa’s comfortable retirement.
Measure R transportation fund will be used to develop a fleet of shuttles.
“There should be no problem in using these dollars for the fleet,” the mayor stated. He continued, “We will convert existing MTA buses for space travel and launch them from the backs of 747s already flying out of LAX. Using existing resources is the way to go.”
Plans call for naming the prototype shuttle Chaka.
Asked about the city’s financial and transportation priorities the mayor replied, “Would you rather have a subway to the sea and more cops, or be wiped out in a cosmic catastrophe?”
In my view, the space mission would be cheaper.