In the wake of Major League Baseball’s decision to take control of the Dodgers, AEG announced a similar plan to intercede in the city’s financial crisis.
Effective at midnight tonight, an AEG appointed trustee will assume responsibility for managing the City of Los Angeles.
According to a company spokesperson, “We have to save the city from itself and protect AEG’s traditional stake in development.”
Pointing to Mayor Villaraigosa’s shortsighted budget plan as the reason, he added, “How can we be expected to deal with a partner who does not have the financial resources to assist us in our master plan? You can’t get blood from a turnip; quite frankly, there are turnips with more intelligence than the elected officials in this town.”
Effective at midnight, the AEG trustee will become the Mayor Pro Tem. Villaraigosa will still carry out all the ceremonial duties of the office; therefore, there should be no detectable change in his schedule.
AEG strongly believes in the importance of separation of powers as democracy’s firewall against tyranny. Accordingly, the Mayor Pro Tem will not have veto power over the actions of the City Council. That responsibility will fall to the head of the Community Redevelopment Agency.
The spokesperson emphasized, “We must have our stadium!”
Then, borrowing a slogan from the California Teachers’ Association, he concluded by saying, “After all, it’s for the children.”
Editorial note: Any similarities with actual people (living, deceased or clueless) or events are purely coincidental and unintentional, although not entirely out of the realm of possibility.